Do you ever feel like you want more? I don’t mean more of stuff. Not more that is quantifiable or measured. What good is the stuff if our character isn’t refined?
I mean more as in another level. Another level of you: your relationships, your thinking, your actions, your results...
I do. I’m at a place where I’m learning and growing and even feel like I’m at another level than I was last year or last week but I still sense I’m missing something, like there’s another level for me.
This isn’t sadness or perfectionism (believe me, I know that whole thing). This is being grateful and thankful yet longing. It’s being happy and joyful yet unsatisfied.
I got my hair done just moments before this photo by the amazing Gaby Walerczyk and every single time we end up in the best conversations that are wrapped up in the Holy Spirit. We push each other. She pushed me by asking questions. She pushed me by saying out loud what I was keeping in my mind, deep down where I had not taken the time to bring it back up to the surface, possibly to the point where I had been ignoring it or staying too busy to hear it. She pushed me and I’m grateful for it.
I went home that afternoon just before I had to grab my son from school and began saying out loud ideas and thoughts about what I was feeling (I even recorded it!). I am trying to wake up the deepest parts of me into the Lord’s direction. Thankful that the Holy Spirit is connecting the dots and waking me up. Almost every day I ask God to direct my steps, BUT if I have put up a wall, I’ll still take a turn when I hit it instead of knocking through it. I want to knock through those walls that may be stopping me from the best of me.
I want to hear well done when I am face to face with my heavenly Daddy. So I sense that means more. Something else. Not a busy-more. A being-used-by-God-in-an-exponential-way-more. Multiplication instead of addition.
I want to do and be what I felt led to make ALTR about:
A Life That’s Radical.
Radical for Jesus.
Radical for others.
I want to leave my God-given mark on this world.
I know each day is a journey toward that, especially with what I think about and focus on (as I’m learning even from a scientific point).
So I’m choosing to focus on God’s truth. His gifts. The gifting He’s given me. I hope to share more of that soon and hope you join me in A Life That’s Radical.